Living in LA I have found that most of my friends are not actually from LA. We all moved here to follow a dream and then fell in love with the smog, traffic and congestion. Ahem… Traveling home at first was for the major holidays. Then the visits slowed down and really just turned into “gosh I haven’t been back in a long time, maybe I should go.” Or a great work opportunity would arise and create a paid trip home and a fun performance gig. Going back home was slowing down and the trips had eventually become shorter and shorter in length.
One of the things I noticed about my friends who had kids was they all went home in the summers… for a long time. I thought I understood why, to see family right? But now, well, now I get it. I get it on a totally different level. Going home, is going home. Understanding love in a new way. A deeper appreciation for family. Going home is about sharing adventures with 3 generations. It is about being taken care of when all you do every day, all day, is take care of this human you made, making sure they are learning, striving and not in danger. It’s simply having someone else take care of you while you take care of yours. Going home is truthfully the best thing I could have done for myself, my son and my family… both my birth family and chosen family.
It’s not easy to be away from my things. No bed will ever be as comfortable as my bed. But let’s get real for a second, I haven’t slept well in over a year so any bed in any stretch of time will work just fine. And a shower is a shower especially when taking a shower at home sometimes doesn’t happen until 5pm, along with brushing your teeth. So those little sacrifices are all worth it because it’s the love and joy in my mom’s face or my sister’s eyes and even my brother-in-laws playfulness that makes me so grateful to have them. It also makes it so difficult to leave them. It’s not easy to live far from family.
I somewhat envy those who live near family or who have made the choice to leave LA and go home so that they can be near family. It’s a true selfless act to give up on what you believed your dream was and embrace your new dream. Now with all that being said we won’t be moving to Florida or Wisconsin to be near family. We are established in LA and my husband is making his dreams come true. But sometimes I wish I had a superpower of teleportation and I could just go home with my son, husband and two little awesome dogs. How great would it be to have Sunday dinners at my moms or say hi to my best friends or kiss on my nephews and share some wine with my sister-in-law. Sometimes I wish. Until that day comes (because why not keep wishing for teleportation?) I will take those extra long trips home to see my family. I will embrace that time with them and cherish those memories we will make together. Maybe, just maybe being away from my family makes me appreciate them more. Maybe this just deepens our relationships and gives us opportunity to live in the moment and make Today The Day.
Below are a few photos of our trip to Florida this summer. I think the photo’s say it all.
Parents and baby on a plane. Actually he was calmer than we were.
Siesta Key, FL. First time in the ocean and he LOVES it!
Kurt and my mom. Bob, my father-in-law and myself. Siesta Key, FL.
Poolside with daddy.
Aunt Sabrina and Crosby.
Grandma Kitty and Crosby.
Yaya and a sleepy boy.
Aunt Sabrina and Uncle Ron playing with their super-nephew.
More swim time. More joyful water love!
One of my dearest friends Stevie P and his family came over for July 4th.
Gates holding Crosby, Ross holding milk.
One of my very best friends Desiree came over with her kids to swim.
Anastasia, Crosby and Gavin. More swim time with more best friends!
Love and Aunt Sabrina!
My uncle Terry = Crosby’s Grand Uncle Terry!
Eddie and Crosby chatting!
Mom and Crosby having a conversation.
Mom and Sabrina beachside dining.
Below: Missy B to the left and Big D to the right.
Anastasia said “Big lips!” Desiree won!
Old high school friends who are still in my life! Eddie, SharOn and Desiree.
I love them all!
Again Yaya and her magic sleeping powers.
To the right: Delayed… on the plane. Oh flying alone, the worst way to end the best trip.
Sometimes it’s hard to travel and be away from your comforts. What I learned after having Crosby was that those comforts mean nothing to me in comparison to family. Being with each other, laughing, swimming, chatting, eating, drinking and playing together. Those things fill my soul and spirit with love and endless joy. And not just my family and friends, having Kurt’s family fly to Orlando and stay with us for a week was amazing. I am grateful that for Crosby’s first vacation he had his yaya and grandpa with him, his aunt and uncle, his mom and dad.
Now if only Kurt’s brother and family could have been there too, I can say it would have been even more perfect. Plus our dogs. Our dogs always make everything better. They are family too and wherever there is family around, you are home.