I’m 33 weeks, this means I am very large. Watch out. I still think that I am smaller than I am. I still try to move through spaces that I used to be able to move through, and then I bump into everything, including you. I can see my boy roll about inside me. I feel his hiccups. Like a little drummer he just thumps to his own beat. He jumps or jabs at my bladder like it’s a trampoline. Washing the dishes seems nearly impossible. My belly and my height just make the faucet so hard to reach. I can no longer cut my toe nails. I am in desperate need of a pedicure. Shaving the back side of my left leg is hard. In a week I am sure I will be unable to reach around the giant belly and contort myself enough to razor off my dark Armenian hair. And of course my arch nemesis constipation is back. Oh poop, sweet poop, where are you hiding and when will you just leave already? I’d like for that to happen quickly please. Please. PLEASE!
Katie and Sarah threw me a CSzLA baby shower that was delightful. What wonderful friends I have! What a beautiful community I have the pleasure to bring my son into. My old College Team Co Director, Greg, and his family flew out as a surprise. It is these little gems in life that fill my soul with joy. So thank you to everyone who came out that day, that set up the surprise and showered me with an over abundance of love. There are no words that can express how grateful I am for that day and for your friendships. I hope that I can be as good to all of you as you have been to me.
Kurt and I have been in nesting mode. Well, I have been in nesting mode and Kurt is along for the ride. He’s actually taken the wheel and is not only driving but navigating too. He rocks. We are cleaning out everything and prepping for the little man to arrive. There will be a yard sale labor day weekend. For the first time ever, I may get rid of things I never thought I’d let go of. Because all that stuff you think you may need when you are a couple changes when you become a couple with a baby. Plus, baby stuff is ridiculously large for such a tiny human. Feel free to come take some cool stuff off our hands.
This past weekend we took the Baby Birthing Weekend Express class. So informational and fascinating. Oh and also what the hell did I get myself into? We watched some videos, yes videos, made in the 80’s. Ooo-wee those men with all the facial hair delivering babies was exactly what I needed to see! As fascinating as it is to see a birth, I don’t know that that is how I wanted to see it. Lots of hair. Everywhere. Hair. I will say I feel more prepared and educated. It was a great class and I took some amazing notes, which I am sure I will look through as I am in labor and feeling excruciating pain. But mostly, I am incredibly grateful that I have female Drs who have zero facial hair.
Kurt is in an improv group called Old Milwaukee. They have been doing great at the iOWest cage match with 44 wins and potentially on their way to breaking the all time record for most cage match wins. This summer I have tried to go out and see them play on Monday nights. It’s been funny, fun and a great social event. However, there is this weird feeling I get when I walk through a bar in Hollywood at 11:30pm on a Monday night being so obviously pregnant. I get looks. Not the kind of looks that most girls get. You know the she’s cute looks. I get the “Really lady? You are at a bar?” looks. I want to be all “who cares.” But honestly I even feel like, really Tasha? I am quickly recognizing and accepting that these days are almost over. The days that I have freedom to go see a kick ass improv show late at night and be supportive of my hubs and his boyfriends. This may be what I miss the most. That sense of freedom and that ability to laugh when I need to laugh. I am in no way saying I’d rather do that than have a child. I am just saying I will miss that youthful freedom that goes with being a late night gal and an improviser. Secretly, I think it would be awesome to break my water at one of their shows because I am laughing so hard! Of course that would be kinda gross and messy, but the story would be awesome.
And now this reminder to myself about my pregnancy.
What was I thinking? Oh geez! Sometimes I just forget. Forget why I have been forced to cut things out of my life. For example, I often forget why I don’t eat dairy. Then like a surprise slap in the face I am reminded. And damn that slap burns. Like a loving man who gives his wife what she asks for, Kurt delivered today. He heard me say “I’m hungry and I want pancakes and crispy bacon.” After we walked the dogs we went out to breakfast. It was great, a little morning date. I mean when was the last time we went on a morning date? I had my delicious pancakes and crispy bacon with a large glass of orange juice. Happiness. We came home and I felt exhausted, like I had run a marathon. I put my head down on a pillow and less than 30 minutes later that delicious combination of pancakes, crispy bacon and orange juice surprised slapped me in the face. I quickly ran to the bathroom and there it was. How is it that I had completely forgotten that anything made with dairy, including buttermilk pancakes, would do anything but come right back up? I’d say it was a gentle reminder, but really there was nothing gentle about it. I am reminded once again that dairy in all of its forms is not acceptable to my body and no matter how much I may want it, I will regret that action.
Honestly there hasn’t been that much vomit since month 6. I was unbelievably ill last week with a cold or the flu and had a lovely projectile vomit episode. It’s kind of funny now. But in the moment, well it was sad and funny at the same time. I mean I am really used to puking, but this was fantastic. I was peeing and vomiting at the same time, whipping my head around with my panties around my legs and there it was, all the beauty of that hot green tea I just drank, all over my bathroom. At least it wasn’t chunky. Too much? Yeah, I thought so.
My last random thought, I promise.
I haven’t gained that much weight. Actually I have gained a total of 11 pounds since my first Dr appointment. I know this will anger some of you. But really, just be happy for me. After all, you probably didn’t vomit for 6 months and then have to cut things like dairy or anything that contains dairy completely out of your diet. I know that in pregnancy within the last two months I can expect to gain a pound a week, so with a potential 8 weeks left to go before a forced induction I will for sure get larger and heavier. But how on earth can I possibly get heavier? How can I stretch any more? What will happen to my lungs? They already feel so much pressure. Teaching improv is making me winded. Laughing is making me winded. Singing along to music in the house or car, makes me winded. Dancing… duh, winded. But I won’t stop laughing or singing or having joyous moments in my life. So little squished lungs, take note, we will laugh, we will sing and we will dance. Please keep up.
Hey friends, go listen to music and open yourself to laughter today.