I found out I was pregnant the same week of the Superbowl. Exciting because the Packers were in it. The Packers, who were a wildcard team, beat all the odds to make it to the Superbowl. Kurt and I, who had been trying to get pregnant for years, finally gave up New Years Eve. We gave this “dream family” back to God and asked for acceptance instead. We were out of the game, and yet, like the Packers we found a way to get back in it and play the big game. When Kurt found out he quickly said “this is a good omen for the Packers.” Adorable and hilarious, because it was another thing for him to be excited for. Perhaps he was right, it was a good omen. After all, the Packers did win, and the pregnancy is still on.
Then came the reality of my pregnancy. Blah blah blah, I know every pregnancy is different. I keep reading all the info in books, blogs and postings on pregnancy sites. All these things are helpful and some are also a little self indulgent. I know, who am I to say that as I write a blog about me. The truth is these sites started to annoy me. I wanted to hug and punch these women in the face. Yes, my emotions were running rampant. So I stopped going to these group pages. I feel better for that, at least I do right now. I can’t turn into the type of person who only talks about pregnancy and babies. I’m sure it will happen eventually, like when I am a whale and waddle about town. But for now, I’m still Natasha.
I was tired. Tired like you wouldn’t believe. Have to sleep NOW tired. And if I didn’t nap I’d cry because of exhaustion. I was in bed early every night. I became the boring wife to my husband. We even laughed about it. My poor husband. He’s taking the dogs out at night and early in the morning, all while I sleep. He’s already deprived of sleep. He is truly amazing.
Then there was the throwing up. Every time I brushed my teeth or thought about brushing my teeth, up came any and every thing I ate or drank. I changed toothpaste and I changed my toothbrush and yet, the throwing up still came. Correction, still comes even today. Every day. I think perhaps this is the hardest part. Feeling nauseous all the time and hoping that if I can throw up I will feel better, only not so much. They say the second trimester is great, that the woman feel amazing and wonderful. We’ll I say duh, if you stop puking and feeling nauseous then of course you feel wonderful. Anyone would feel wonderful if they felt like shit for three months then all the sick went away. I don’t care why I’ll feel better, I’m just ready to feel better.
Who wants to know about the constipation? Well, that it is real issue. At least for me it is. Another one of the worst parts. Maybe I’d feel less like throwing up if I could have a decent bowel movement. If I didn’t feel like I was full of shit. Another wonderful laughing moment with my husband, when I say “I’m full of shit.” Everybody poops, unless you are (me) pregnant. My Dr offered some solutions, taking stool softeners and trying a suppository. I tried all, multiple times and guess what they do not work for my body. If it worked maybe this paragraph would have been omitted. Lucky you, you get to know all about my poop, or lack there of. Powered fiber, I now understand your existence. Oh and you fart. A lot. Not stinky, just a lot of farting. I can easily go head to head with Kurt now. I may even beat him on any given night. These things are not my definition of “Ahh! I’m pregnant, this is a magical thing.” It’s literally crap, that won’t exit my body.
Yes I am the host body to this foreign being who is playing me like a video game. I need more life pellets or whatever you call it. Oh and would someone please train this baby how to play.
Do I sound horrible? I don’t mean to. I love my baby. I am honestly excited and happy. Also nervous. Just keeping it real. I feel it necessary to be honest. Mostly so I can go back and remember how I really felt. To share with those of you who may care, like my mom. It’s all good stuff. Every time I puke, I think healthy baby inside. Healthy and still alive, growing baby in my body. I am working on a spine today or a liver or… Those things are totally badass. And yes, being pregnant means I am badass.